I'll be honest, this quote was a little hard for me to swallow because I DID NOT feel this way when I became a parent. Between the postpardum depression, and going back to work full-time, my life had been a mess and I hated being a parent. It wasn't until we made major life changes; me transitioning to a SAHM and going to see counseling for the depression has this quote making me smile. Everyday now, I fall more and more in love with my little son. I honestly thought I would never get to this point, but I finally feel for the first time in over a year, that being a parent isn't so bad. I can actually say that I love my life and my relationship with Liam grows each and everyday more beautiful than I could ever imagine.
I never thought I would be a mom. I wasn't one of the those girls who grew up wanting to get married, have kids and live happily ever after. I knew it wasn't a reality, so I never really thought about it. Being a mom comes with so muchresponsibility and sacrifice, that I was not willing to give up. Yes, you can say I am selfish. I'll be the first to admit that. But from my broken perspective, having kids was a burden, a dream destroyer, and a life sucker. I see so many burnt out parents, kids acting wild to get some love and attention, and families being torn apart with divorce. So yes, I didn't want kids, sometimes I am still hesitated in bringing forth a living human being to this war-torn world.
As I looked around me seeing all of these moms so excited to have babies. But I was freaking out. I still have my moments, something that I am working through everyday. How can I be a mom?! I'm only 25, I haven't even landed in my career yet, it's been a rough of marriage and now there's this kid that decides to show up. I was so angry. This is just all so sudden. You can say, "well at least it wasn't a honeymoon baby" yeah I get that, but seriously, shut up, no one wants to hear that. I felt so alone even with friends and family surrounding me. Everyone would asked me if I am excited, I was getting fatter, I wanted to throw up every two seconds and sleep at the same time. So no, not really excited. Now go get me some Chinese food and a Costco box of Tums ;-)
I started to think about why I was so upset, why I was so angry, why I was letting fear take over my life. I feared that I would fail. I feared that I wouldn't be a good parent. I feared I wouldn't love my child. I feared that the kid(s) would drive a wedge between myself and Jared. So much fear and for what? Like really, why should I give into fear when I have a God who has literally given me life to live without fear.
I began to think about the last seven years of my life. How I was a train wreck out of high school, having no direction, pissed drunk and hated who I was and where I was going. Then Jesus showed up, and completely filled my heart up with love for the first time in my life. I never felt so free. The past seven years has been a time of preparation spiritually, and mentally to walk fully into the calling that He has for me. The number seven in the bible means "complete" "coming into fullness". So when the Holy Spirit was reminding me of this I sat down in awe, as tears were streaming down my face. I grew up in a broken family and now the Lord gave me a husband who will never leave me till death do us part. He is giving me a child to raise in a godly home, and to be a disciple maker. He has been telling me the last couple of years to begin writing and I am actually doing it. Yeah, I fail at doing it a lot of the time, but it's better than not writing at all. All this to say, the Lord has been more than kind to me. He really does care and has bigger plans for me than I could ever imagine.
I know I won't be the perfect mom, I know I will have scary times, I know my kids won't be perfect. But I have a God who is the perfect Father, nothing scares him, and my kids will be perfect because that's the way he sees them. All I can do is trust that the Lord knows what He is doing, through the hard times and good times. I can now say the Lord is still in the process of healing my heart from past wounds and changing my perspective on parenting. As I look into my son's eyes, I can now say I am excited to see what adventures await for us and our growing family.
Having a weekly date night is extremely important to you and your spouses' relationship. When me and Jared were engaged we were told over and over by couples that if they didn't schedule out their date nights, that their marriage wouldn't be in great shape. In the first couple of months being married it was extremely hard. For one we didn't have an established date day. My husband has a one full time and one part time job which makes me seeing him basically when I go to sleep and wake up in the morning. This was causing us a lot of stress and tension especially in the beginning. I felt very alone and unworthy of my husbands time and affection.
As our relationship was crumbling, we started to take action on our situation. We agreed that Sundays we would designate that day for us to go out on a date. Whether that was spending the whole day together or spending a couple hours with one another, our relationship was starting to become whole. Some unspoken issues were addressed. We were able to have fun again. We were becoming friends again. I just want to emphasis again, really spending time with one another is so vital. It's just like any other relationship. If you have a best friend, you want to make an effort to spend time with them, whether that's hanging out or having a heart to heart. Every relationship takes time and effort on both parties. Are you willing to do what it takes to make your relationship last?
If the answer is yes I want to give you a list of 10 creative ways to make your day fun with your best friend.
1.) Plan a picnic to a place you and your spouse have never been before
2.) Take a road trip to a city or state for a weekend get-a-away
3.) Leave notes of love for your spouse all day, in all the places they would be throughout the day. At the end of the day, lead them to the place where you had your first kiss together.
4.) Go to a drive in theater
5.) Make your spouse a surprise dinner. Let the light be all from the surrounding candles, make a playlist before hand and have a great night.
6.) Plan a day where everything you do is new. Example; go see a baseball game, jazz club etc.
7.) Ask your spouse something they have always wanted to go do. Whether that's taking a painting class or going to see the ballet. Then go do it!
8.) (For bookworms) go to a bookstore, go to the travel section and plan your next trip out together
9.) Pretend to be strangers for the day and you just met and are having your first "hangout time together" this give you a chance to get to know one another all over again.
10.) Go stargazing