The Smith Project

Coming Alive

Motherhood, LifeAndrea SmithComment

After many months of transition, pain and loss of self, I finally feel like I am rediscovering who I am. Since having my first child and battling PPD, it's been a struggle to find enjoyment in everyday life. We recently celebrated my son's first birthday and it was a joy to say the least with family and friends surrounding our little boy with love and affection. I "officially" am a SAHM (Stay-at-home-mom) and just enjoyed my first week with little Liam. Though both of us have been sick, it has been an extremely enjoyable week learning, talking and shopping together. Yes, momma likes to shop. 

Now transitioning from full-time marketplace, to full-time mommyhood, I feel a sense of relief and even feel at peace with just having one occupation. I think if I wasn't battling so much with PPD and other things in my life right now maybe it would of been ok for me to stay in the marketplace, but mentally, spiritually, emotional and physically it has stripped me. I think working moms are seriously the best. I wasn't able to do it, but I have such respect for mothers who go back to work after having a baby. My mother was a single parent herself for a time and I seriously don't know how she did it. My mother has sacraficed so much of herself for us and even now I tear up just thinking about all the things she had to do to push us to have better. It is a courage that has marked my heart forever. 

I am very grateful though that my husband has witnessed the past year and has called for a change. I am grateful and humbled that he wants me to stay at home with our son and give all my energy and attention to his needs. Adjusting to my new schedule is interesting, but today is the first day that I can say, that I have felt true happiness, and I haven't felt this way in a long time.