Maya Angelou... need I say more? Being present and thankful as a mom can be extremely difficult on a day to day basis. It's really true of what the moms of old say, "Enjoy every moment, you won't have it forever." It's hard to really appreciate that when your baby is screaming and your toddler is pulling your hair, when you just want to go to the bathroom in peace and they bang on the door and cry like you've abandoned them!
Being present and thankful in those small moments when you are feeding them and they stop, stare and give you a toothless grin. When they unknowingly hold your hand when you're crying about everything, when they say those precious words, "I love you Mommy". I have yet to hear that last one, but when I do it will be the best day ever and I will be more grateful to have that little person cheer me on and remind me to be ever present and ever thankful for the life that I have.
In some season of your life, you feel like you are just stuck in a hard place. Other times the sun on your face feels like you can finally breathe again. No matter the season you are in two things matter more than anything; 1.) Do you still call God faithful? and 2.) Is He for you? I think answering truthfully those two questions, you can find true rest in your Father. You can find true rest in your heart, mind, body and soul.
I am coming to learn that just because I have a husband, a roof over my head and a cute little baby does not mean that my life is a beautiful cake and I can eat it too. This season has been one of the most challenging in my life to date. I have felt lost, alone, confused, hatred, rage, anger, frustration, worry, you name it I've probably felt it. It took me too long to realize that I didn't want to live this way anymore, and I didn't have to. I reached out and up. At the end of myself I looked to the One that could take away my heartache and replace it with joy. I looked to the One who's eyes burn like fire and He told me that everything was going to be alright if I just kept my gaze on Him.
At times I have wanted to look away, but my heart says to hold on. The little girl inside says to hold on to hope. Hold on to love. Hold on to the One who was there through every horrible moment, and every joyful one. So instead of letting my life define who I am, I am letting my Creator define me by how He sees me. He sees the true me and that doesn't look like the things that I do or don't do, but He sees things in my heart that I am not even aware of.
So now the choices. I have the choice to either trust in the character and nature of who God is, or choose to continue to look at myself and see how I can get myself out of the mess called life. No matter what season I am in, I want to be content. You don't have to be content with where you are at or who you are at the moment, but you can be content in who you are through Christ and where He is taking you.