I'll be honest, this quote was a little hard for me to swallow because I DID NOT feel this way when I became a parent. Between the postpardum depression, and going back to work full-time, my life had been a mess and I hated being a parent. It wasn't until we made major life changes; me transitioning to a SAHM and going to see counseling for the depression has this quote making me smile. Everyday now, I fall more and more in love with my little son. I honestly thought I would never get to this point, but I finally feel for the first time in over a year, that being a parent isn't so bad. I can actually say that I love my life and my relationship with Liam grows each and everyday more beautiful than I could ever imagine.
This quote is so hard for me to hear. I literally just sat here and re-read this about 20 minutes.
I have been in a hard, long season of depression and joylessness. I don't know if that's a word but I just invented it, so whatever, it's my blog so my rules :-) Anyways, simple put, joy is a choice. Just like most emotions in life. I wrote on our blackboard this phrase,"Today is a good day, for a good day." So every time I get upset or want to yell at little Liam (my son) I see that big annoying board and it reminds me that I have control over my emotions, and I get to choose if we are going to have a good day or not. I am the homemaker and I am the one setting the tone or atmosphere in our home, so what will I choose today?
So next time you're frustrated that the house is a mess and you didn't get anything on your unrealistic check list done, just remember that it's really not the end of the world. You get to be the person that affects your home, that little face looking at you, and the people who surround you. Joy is a choice, so what will be your choice today?
To me this quote says, "Andrea, you can read books, ask for advice and get unwanted advice, but motherhood is different for everybody and you're going to have to figure out some stuff on your own."
I will be the first to admit that I ask for help and advice ALL THE TIME! But I'm not ashamed, cause I know I need help and I want to glean on the wisdom of others. I think though we can get caught up in what everybody else says, and what everybody is doing and you start to question, "am I doing this right? Why isn't this working for us?" The list goes on and on. What works for one family doesn't work for another, and God gave YOU your baby because he wanted YOU to raise your baby, not someone else. He gave YOU that baby because He knew YOU could do it, and that you would be the best mom for that baby. Trust your instincts. So if you just keep hitting a wall with your kid(s) and are wondering what more should you do, ask the Guy who created that little one and I'm sure He'll give you some answers.
Maya Angelou... need I say more? Being present and thankful as a mom can be extremely difficult on a day to day basis. It's really true of what the moms of old say, "Enjoy every moment, you won't have it forever." It's hard to really appreciate that when your baby is screaming and your toddler is pulling your hair, when you just want to go to the bathroom in peace and they bang on the door and cry like you've abandoned them!
Being present and thankful in those small moments when you are feeding them and they stop, stare and give you a toothless grin. When they unknowingly hold your hand when you're crying about everything, when they say those precious words, "I love you Mommy". I have yet to hear that last one, but when I do it will be the best day ever and I will be more grateful to have that little person cheer me on and remind me to be ever present and ever thankful for the life that I have.
After many months of transition, pain and loss of self, I finally feel like I am rediscovering who I am. Since having my first child and battling PPD, it's been a struggle to find enjoyment in everyday life. We recently celebrated my son's first birthday and it was a joy to say the least with family and friends surrounding our little boy with love and affection. I "officially" am a SAHM (Stay-at-home-mom) and just enjoyed my first week with little Liam. Though both of us have been sick, it has been an extremely enjoyable week learning, talking and shopping together. Yes, momma likes to shop.
Now transitioning from full-time marketplace, to full-time mommyhood, I feel a sense of relief and even feel at peace with just having one occupation. I think if I wasn't battling so much with PPD and other things in my life right now maybe it would of been ok for me to stay in the marketplace, but mentally, spiritually, emotional and physically it has stripped me. I think working moms are seriously the best. I wasn't able to do it, but I have such respect for mothers who go back to work after having a baby. My mother was a single parent herself for a time and I seriously don't know how she did it. My mother has sacraficed so much of herself for us and even now I tear up just thinking about all the things she had to do to push us to have better. It is a courage that has marked my heart forever.
I am very grateful though that my husband has witnessed the past year and has called for a change. I am grateful and humbled that he wants me to stay at home with our son and give all my energy and attention to his needs. Adjusting to my new schedule is interesting, but today is the first day that I can say, that I have felt true happiness, and I haven't felt this way in a long time.